


Chasing Visions

by LostInQueue



Category: Star Wars
Genre: Alliance by Apocalypse Tomorrow, Confrontation, Crait, F/M, Gen, Good vs Evil, Healing, Ilum, Lightsaber Battles, Millennium Falcon - Freeform, Raada, Semi-Canon Compliant, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 21:34:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17271524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostInQueue/pseuds/LostInQueue
Summary: Three months since retreating from Crait has the remainder of the resistance still aboard the Millennium Falcon, seeking refuge anywhere. Rey begins to see fragments of visions, calling her to Raada, a moon in the outer rim, to meet with Ashla of Fulcrum. She hopes to find answers about them there, and gains a pressing responsibility to save the force. Will she be able to do it?





	Chasing Visions

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank KathKnight for helping beta this story. She has been super helpful with this, and I cannot thank her enough for volunteering her time to this project. 
> 
> Check out her work here:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/16139990/chapters/37709762
> 
> _____________________Artwork_______________________
> 
> Created by myself. 
> 
> __________________Story Notes_______________________
> 
> There are no Canon notes (that I found) on Raada's planet's name. 
> 
> Raada (moon) was farmed by Imperials for a nutritional supplement but there is no Canon explanation of what it is or how they farmed such a barren land. So for the story, vegetation is reversed, sort of like a geode. 
> 
> Canon followers: Rautera and it's description is made up for this story.
> 
> Canon says Ilum is devastated from over harvesting the kyber crystals, however does not say that it was destroyed. There is reference to other planets that have not been charted for having they living crystals among their resources, so Ilum is chosen as a place to base the return.

Three months had passed since the battle of Crait, and the Millennium Falcon was still packed with the remainder of the resistance. Without a true stronghold, they were forced among the stars looking for a place of refuge to take stock and assess their damages. Anywhere they’d land they wouldn’t be for long, typically only staying for enough time for food and to refuel. Fear of being noticed and turned in for the obscene reward on each individual’s head had them all on edge. Even the ship itself had a bounty. Unsafe was a laughable term, to say the least.

Stress enslaved the crew. Truthfully, how couldn’t it? Even in their darkest hours, under unbelievable odds, their numbers and support of the oppressed held steady to a belief that it would get better, that the force was with them, and the faith in that in itself was all they truly needed. But now? After narrowly escaping with their last known Jedi, stuck here in this now smelly ship, with faith in this rebellion dwindling, how couldn’t everyone be on edge?

It hadn’t helped that they had started becoming inquisitive of rumors of the shift in the First Order’s power. How they watched Rey react when First Order propaganda appeared during their stops. How she’d look into the hologram as if she could reach out and apologize to him for hurting him, as if she could feel his shift and see his pain. Privacy was seldom now. A connection with him, however desired, was dangerous. It would take just one onlooker to spill her from the ship pushing on a mutiny she didn’t need.

Her mind left the only one that could see her pain for what it truly was behind. No more shadows of her past. None of the present. Only scattered, fragmented pieces of a message would flirt with her in her sleep. At first Rey couldn’t decipher any of it. Mixed messages that scrambled her thoughts eventually represented themselves in a way that could be recorded. Forcing herself wake as the dream shattered, Rey found herself scribbling notes on every surface of the Falcon to simply not forget.

The remainder of the alliance, left on the ship, including Leia, would watch on as her fury recording such things were applied. Many learned multiple times not to intervene as the vision was playing out; instead they would gather and watch. Among the most interested was Poe, who had been at the wrath of several force throws, trying to control her fear of losing the message.

Rey was chasing a vision of peace.

This time would be no different. The glimmering hope would be far enough out of her reach, running towards an escape pod to put coordinates in, Poe grits through yet another painful distribution of force trying to get her to stop. “Rey!” A disgruntled whine comes out of this man. She’s, however, still trapped in her vision, not seeing or hearing Poe in the slightest. “We can do this together!” he calls as he’s flung through the halls. “Wherever it is! Well go! Just not in that... it’s suicide!” His voice travels as he does.

Still having no concept of her actions, her mind is shown the destruction of Ilum. Its history. Where the broken crystal she pockets must be returned to. As it grays and slips from view, so does her consciousness. Passengers that had seen the ordeal make no move to touch her for fear of being thrown. Grunting loudly while dropping from the ceiling, Poe makes his way back to her, checking her vitals, since learning every time he’s dropped, she has, too, “Rey?”

No answer.

His face pulls up from looking over her. Panels on the ship begin to vibrate as if another force user is within the ship. Poe continues to assess Rey, pulling her limp body into the communal area, looking for anything that could give him a better idea of what is happening to her.

“Is she breathing?” Rose’s voice squeaks over the muttering throughout the hall.

Poe stays silent, looking over their friend. He shakes a bruise forming over his knuckles from hitting one of the door panels hard, which has Finn gaping at him. “Did she do that to you?”

“It’s whatever’s controlling her... or whatever this is,” interrupts Rose, standing up for her friend. Rey is a genuine person. Anyone she came in contact with knew that. “She wouldn’t just throw someone for fun.” Rose stops. “I wonder if she’s fighting someone in her dreams.”

“What do you mean, whatever this is? She’s a force user,” Snap interrupts pressing his form from leaning in the doorway, clearly frustrated that it’s been allowed for so long. “It’s been happening more now. If we don’t get out of her path, she throws something or someone and then goes dark. Are you sure she’s not better off by herself?”

“Hey, now hold on,” Poe starts.

“No ‘hold on,’ Poe,” Snap pulls in his shoulders and begins lowly, “would you be giving her this patience if she was throwing Leia?”

“Really?” He shoves out of Snap’s barricade.

“I think you need to remember we’re all that’s left. If we all die at the hand of this... this...”

“Jedi?” offers Finn incredulously.

“She’s no Jedi. They practice patience and are calm—“

“Rey’s calm!” shouts Rose.

“Not during her ‘visions’!” One of his hands pulls down his face in exasperation. “The sooner we find a place to settle, or kick her off the better.” He shoves out of earshot of them.

The three look on as Snap leaves, trying to come up with a plan to help their friend. All the while facing away from Rey, who’s receiving yet another message. Sitting up slowly, she leaves. Step after step becoming more urgent as she runs to the cockpit. She’s aware of the looks she’s receiving and is completely conscious. “Chewie!” She startles the cockpit, sliding hastily into her seat. “Set a course for Raada.”

‘The crystal will have to wait,’ she thinks.

“Wuuh aaahnruh aaaaahnr huurh!” Chewie shouts over the the previous conversation.

“What do you mean, we have to refuel? How are we so low? We’ve only been—-“

Chewie gurgles the answer.

At Rey’s nod they prepare to refuel and head on to Raada.

“What’s in Raada, anyways?” Poe leans his elbow on the wall of the ship, trying to look as if he wasn’t concerned with going to an undeveloped moon in the outer rim. Anywhere to Poe was an adventure, but being on one with a potential Jedi has the man surging with an energy he himself had been excited to chase.

Rey hadn’t wanted to be all that open about what she was seeing. The force wasn’t something she fully understood. Explaining that her kyber crystals were guiding her somewhere, seemed like the easiest way to be dropped off at the nearest mental health facility. “It’s uninhabited. Good place for a base.” Her curtness obvious to both him and Leia, who has been in the cockpit all day; simply looks back at Poe who shrugs out another question.

“How do you know about Raada, being from Jakku...and... all?...” his voice whines high, unmanly, expecting to be thrown again.

A dirty look passed between them as her eyes lock on his briefly. “I lived among an imperial graveyard. You’d be surprised what comes up on a totalled Star Destroyer...” A few clicks at the controls later and she’s signaling for everyone to sit as she pushes the Falcon to light-speed. “They used it to farm nutritional supplements. Haven’t been back in years. At least we know that you’ll survive there as the resistance rebuilds itself.”

Leia nods in agreement. “Let’s just hope whomever lives there is alright with our assumptions in staying.”

Rey nods lightly, sure that her force visions weren’t wrong. There’s nothing there, alright. Nothing that is, except for who she’s looking for.

Those on the ship had been studying her notes as they’d been scribbled throughout the ship, not knowing who to trust or where to land for more than fuel and supplies, left the remaining obvious few’s faith running on fumes. Arguments would brew and resentment would fester as time went on with no set plan. The resistance couldn’t become just a handful of non-force sensitive bodyguards to a new Jedi. It plainly seemed too low for some of the warriors there that clearly outranked her.

Now, settling with new expectations towards an actual location has them buzzing with an actual agenda. They speak of command, where the base will be set up, and patrols set to cover a large segment of the moon, making absolutely sure they were completely alone in their efforts to rebuild.

“Yeah, but... there isn’t anything there. It’s just a moon. You know, rocky terrain? No vegetation at all?” Poe tests. A sigh and a small force shove from Rey later has him quieting down for a moment. But it is just that. A moment. “What is it you’re really after, Rey?”

Her face is like stone, glancing only with her eyes. She is clearly agitated with this man’s interruptions, about to say something she’ll regret later.

Chewie’s roar sounds, however, and settles her right back in.

The Falcon emits a signal informing her that they’re close warning the remaining resistance members on board and those in the cockpit to sit down and hold on. Exiting hyperspace tugs enough at the ship to sway from left to right, shifting those unable to find a seat but slightly. Rautera’s moon, Raada, is large as far as moons go. Orbiting closely to its planetary mother, Raada stays on a track between her and her rings. While Rautera looks to be a lush green planet, there is still so little known about it altogether so they keep to Rey’s initial plan.

Not that they have a choice.

Following the moon on its path through the ringed passageway, Rey feels a tug. The magnetic pull towards the planet’s atmosphere nipped at the ship just enough to move lower towards Rautera.

She grumbles, trying to keep the Falcon on track, increasing her worry that they may not be able to.

Reaching to punch it just enough to exit the magnetic pull of Rautera and pull back just as quickly to avoid unnecessary travel, has Poe impressed. It’s a notable performance as a pilot before Poe, who finds it amusing... attractive even, that she knows how to leach forward to safely approach Raada in respect to the gravity fields without ever being there. Raada itself, even from high in the atmosphere, looks just as Poe described it, barren.

Rey spouts information from one of the visions she had recently, as if she was a living archive. “Devastation has ensued on the crust, from the failed rebellion Ashla started, or so it would seem.”

Rey brings the Falcon further into the rocky terrain. “Imperials, including the First Order, have not been back since, allowing Raada to unknowingly thrive after their rule over farming this land.” Flying into an obvious cavern, down within the moon breaking off into many more offshoots of a hypothetical geode of reversed plantation. Certainly not what she remembers from any of her visions,  
but it was welcomed. Rey flies until she finds ample space to land within a lush green field. Vegetation growing wildly inside the cave, as if they were above ground on any planet within the system, has the crew awestruck, wondering how this is even possible.

Stupefied, the crew follows Rey off the ship wondering how she even knew about this location. Of course Poe asked about this, wanting the real answer, not the one given in the cockpit as he followed her. Rey had no time for questions on her way back to the surface on foot with her blaster, bag, and bo staff in their rightful places. Her mission was to find her path as told by the Force presence she had no interest in outing. The one that called to her. Poe could wait. He didn’t need the answers he sought. However he’d get them if he followed, which Rey didn’t mind, but wasn’t making an effort to help him across any significant craters. Time was not of the essence, and she was making no exceptions for him or anyone else.

Raada’s surface itself is rocky, grey, dry, and dusty. Each step further into this landscape makes Rey feel as though she was home on Jakku. Similarly the stone seems to give like sand, and while the dust picks up in the wind, it even looks like it supported sandstorms. No sooner does the wall of dust erupt, is sent right back in another direction by Rey’s focused hand.

A figure in the distance stands, and Rey continues on to meet it. The figure keeps their body square. Proud. Their hood is drawn around brown robes fluttering behind their legs from the use of the force they’d both shown between the two of them. A lighted path from vegetation much like bioluminescent algae, lights each step towards the woman which is something to examine at a later time. For now she sought information.

“Ashla? Of Fulcrum?” Rey asks. “Why have you summoned me here?”

The woman smirks slightly, removing her hood, revealing her mantle. “It’s good to see you, Rey.”

The Togruta woman smiles seeing Poe in the distance. “I’m Ahsoka Tano, a friend of the resistance. You are safe here.”

Poe’s mouth drops wide open at her. It has been years, years, sure of her demise after losing her master to the dark side. This legend was standing before Rey and holds Poe’s gaze until the man makes it to them.

“I can’t believe it’s you!” He rakes both hands through his hair. “This is, it’s an honor, really.” Poe offers his hand. A comfortable shake has the man shuddering out a breath.

“I understand you have questions for me, Rey?” Ahsoka turns to focus only on her.

Pulling out the halves of the lightsaber, she shows the compromised weapon, most concerned with the living crystal within it. “It’s calling to me. As you have. It wants to be reunited at home. It... it...”

“It’s dying,” she says definitively. Her eyes widen explaining the dark side, their process in making the crystal submit to their ways. “Bleeding a crystal is to hurt it, but here... splitting it, against it’s will... Rey, how was this done?”

“I...” She lowers her head as if she killed an innocent child, her voice wavering. “Ben Solo killed Supreme Leader Snoke on my behalf, saving me from death in an effort to... to...” Her memories fade to him, standing in front of her with his unpracticed words, cutting through what she was even after their battle of wills saving the other against the praetorians. “He offered me a place alongside him to change all of this.” Questions swirl in her mind reviewing what was said. What was done. “The lightsaber... I went to take it back from him, and he took it as my answer. We ripped it in half, knocking us both unconscious, bathed in the blinding light of the crystal. If... if...Kylo Ren wasn’t fully created before then, I’m almost certain he is now.”

“You speak as if you know him.” Ahsoka reaches for the crystal halves, unable to hear them.

“I’m learning.” Rey’s response is tight lipped, feeling their connection echo between them.

“The crystal will need to be healed, Rey, and you aren’t strong enough to do it alone.” She shakes her head. “Traveling back to the husk of Ilum won’t fix it either,” she adds, drawing from the crystal’s memory. “Ben will need to aid you in this.”

Poe starts to laugh, walking away from this mess of a revelation.

Reaching him had been an issue since last seeing him in a vision on Crait. Both of them were too hurt to speak up after their battle side by side and Rey felt it. A changed man. One with more focus. Braving the skirts of a redemption he could only crave for, only to throw pain back in her face in a weak attempt to control her. No one controlled her. Rey was her own person, even under the pain of all she’d never own. No one was going to use her, and despite their trust in each other then, she had been shown it was only an illusion. Nothing more to him than another body in his parade of power.

It’s all she can see.

Leaving him and a connection she’d avoid for those months since Crait by the wayside, Rey would dwell on his look before shutting him out. His expression hurt and betrayed, as if he’d been tossed to the side like garbage, revealing the thought that he could be her master. Continue on as Supreme Leader of the First Order with her in command of destroying people’s lives on a whim. Having her face known to the oppressed as a symbol of muscle, not reinforcements fighting for their cause. What he was asking of her wasn’t fair. Expecting an answer as heavy as that, unable to see that ignoring the safety of the fleet was a new main objective, that she could then trust him after her mission had been completed.

Trust, she thought. Trust. Rey thought he trusted her. He picked her over Snoke, didn’t he? What was it about her that made him feel compassion strong enough to betray the creature of hatred promising fake wills to a broken man?

Her thoughts call to him.

“I need to go to Ilum anyway.” She speaks up before she feels their connection threading their minds together. “If we plan to create a resistance strong enough to defend this universe, we’ll need to see this through.”

“It would be best if your people stay hidden with me, here. Ilum is no longer a safe place,” Ahsoka promises moving with them back to the caverns.

Worried about outing her friends, Rey has begun projecting images of Ilum and reasons for going into her mind so that Ben couldn’t sense her or them in their current location. It’s a stretch, but worth a try. If he was able to pick up Luke’s force signature, why not Ahsoka’s?

Over the past few months she’s felt him stretch across the void, desperately trying to connect with her, especially in the beginning. Shutting him out had been the only thing she could handle at the time.

Their connection would tempt him as her anger would build, her signature would become prominent. Kylo would find her. Each time, focusing on the fire within her, he’d take hold of their bond, opening it wide enough to see her, but not enough to interact. Kylo needed answers. He needed to see. Madness rained down on him as she severed even that, revealing only whispers of the same impending visions to him in her unconscious state. But even now she had to try. ‘Strategy,’ she thinks. If Kylo is still looking for her, Ben is too. He’d be smart enough to follow the crumb trail.

“What exactly is the plan anyway?” asks Poe, breaking her concentration.

“I’m going to Ilum to heal the crystal. I thought that was obvious.” Rey looks at Poe pointedly.

“And what? Radio the First Order? Don’t you hear how crazy that sounds?” He steps into her space as they round the corner, finding the Falcon and remaining resistance members exploring the fields around them. “What are you going to say exactly? I’d like to set up an appointment with Mr. Ren? We don’t have the reinforcements for you to go healing a rock—“

“Oh and what would if say you were wounded? Should we test the theory Poe? I’m an excellent shot...” she pitches her voice sarcastically, “you’ve said so yourself.”

Ahsoka looks on as if she’s speaking to children, “The force wills this. The crystal’s life is in danger, and as a Jedi, her lightsaber will not be obtainable unless she can undo this wrong. A Jedi without a blade is not unheard of, and it makes protecting one’s self inherently difficult without it.” Her posture remains straightened as she greets Leia and the crew.

Muttering is heard past their conversation, welcoming the thought of another force user to their cause. “I am here only for a short time, replacing the protection Rey has been called to the light for.”

“And why’s that?” asks Finn, another of her friends she hasn’t been quite upfront with.

Ahsoka turns to see both Rey and Poe still in their heated debate about her plans to leave. Her brow heaves upward in surprise at such conflict between the two. “You’re just going to have to trust me, Poe.”

“But you’re not even...”

“Telling you how I’m going to do it? I shouldn’t have to. I don’t ask you how you... never mind, the point is, you don’t need all of the information. You just need to trust me, do you understand?”

Poe groans at her. “You want me wager the fate of the remainder of this crew on healing a rock? To save the force? Do you hear yourself?”

“Clearly you’re not hearing either of us. This is happening with or without you. Stay if you must.” She turns her heel, frowning at Ahsoka, her fists clenching at her friend’s inability to accept the important nature of this mission. She does not need this man to mock what he can’t understand. Especially not when she is still trying to project another location altogether, the process of which is driving her momentarily mad. Throwing in Poe’s persistence, asking how she’d even find Kylo, makes for one heck of a moment to finally screech, “We have a bond okay?”

‘Damnit.’ She freezes for a second, her shoulders hunched tightly towards her chest.

“A what?” he asks carefully as the embers of her truth start to catch fire.

“I mean, did. We used to. Brought on by Snoke —or so he said...” She waves her hand through the air trying to erase the flow of her words. “We haven’t connected since I left Ahch-To.” She pauses, “The last time I felt his presence was on Crait as the last member came aboard.” She remembers his drawn expression quietly.

“You mean to tell me you’re basically a beacon to the First Order? That you could lead them to us—“

“Oh! And you don’t think Leia could?” Rey hollers back at him, throwing her open hand in exasperation in Leia’s direction. “I’m not the only force sensitive person here, Poe! Ben—“

“You mean Kylo—“

“No. I mean Ben.” She glares at him, “Ben is still in there. He is, I feel it in him. Leia has. I know this! All he needs is guidance. Help. Someone...to show him... he’s not...” Her voice trails off, remembering his offer. His outstretched hand. “What have I done?” she whispers to herself. A slight clamour in the crowd before them pushes Rey to remove herself from this situation. “Chewie, let’s go.”

“Wait. I’m coming too,” calls Poe.

“You’re staying here.“

“Rey, listen to me,” he interjects, “you’re going to need back up. What if you come under fire? What if—“

“Now you’re on board? What was it you said?“

“I know what I said.” He rakes his fingers through his curls before dropping his hands heavily into his hips. “You can’t expect me to be okay with this, contacting Kylo.”

“Ben.”

“Not after all that he’s done. All the destruction... devastation he’s brought at the hand of that monster.”

“And what kind of monster would I be if I didn’t see how lost he is? If I turned my back, knowing Ben was still alive in there. This may be disturbing to you, but it’s more so to me not to give him the chance he deserves. His chance at redemption. He’s not controlled any more. If it were you,” her eyes pin him where he stands, “would you want someone in your corner, fighting for you? For your chance?” Her lips seal, with no more to say. She is going with or without the approval of anyone surrounding them.

After a brief pause, Leia offered, “May the force be with you,” and Ahsoka nods as Poe follows Chewie and Rey up the ramp, readying the ship for Ilum.

———

While still intact to pass as a planet, Ilum shows major surface damage from years of being harvested for living crystals. Radiating in her pocket, the halved crystal calls to her, its pain obvious now. Needing to be healed on the surface has Rey hoping to see Ben. Hoping he heard her through their connections. While he never answered her in all of her meditations, she still had hope.

Hope.

Thinking of their moments, she’d seen a hurt man, not a monster. A tingle of a chill later has her sure to believe she’s imagining him standing before her. His face is turned away from her, wondering why she bothered to contact him at all. At his turn, she’s sure it’s a dream. He hasn’t tried to make a sound, hardened she’s sure of the pain she left him with in her rejection.

How her mind has grown since those months, hoping his offer was what she recognizes it as now as it was then. “Ben?” She breathes, hoping for his reaction.

His brow wrinkles his otherwise crisp features. He’s responded to... who? Her? Surely not her. They can’t see each other. Right?

His determined look has her rearing back slightly. Unsure of what else to ask, “Are you here?” Slips from her, as if she were alone. It’s breathy and uncomfortable but his presence still controls the bond.

She watches as he tightens his fingers, clasped behind his back, puffing out his chest, “What do you want, Rey?” His eyes look up from the spot on the floor, locking on to hers, smirking a little at her surprised response. Answering with another hesitant one choking within her throat, “To whom do I owe the pleasure of your discovery?”

“My what?”

“My proposal, Rey.” His forceful nod flips his hair forward.

“I-I did.” She shakes her head. “I was wrong... to leave you. I didn’t understand... I didn’t know...”

“And you need my help?”

“To heal the crystal.” She opens her hand, not knowing if he can see them where they sat in her pocket.

“And if I say no?”

“It’s my understanding that the force will shift in neither of our favors, creating a new plane. We can’t even manage good and evil. How would he handle a third manifestation of the force? What if it destroys us all?”

He thinks about this, severing the vision. Rey, only able to make out the last few words, hears: “Like you did to me when you left?”

No.

“Ben?” If she could have clawed at their bond to keep it open, she would have. His presence is important, she needs him. A wild thought flitted into her mind in desperation. Can she conjure his support through their connection to get what she needs? Can’t she? Is there enough power to handle such a feat? Will trying on her own kill her? Of this, Rey isn’t sure, but knows she has to try. If the force will try to rebalance itself on its own through the destruction of this dying crystal, there isn’t exactly a choice.

As her focus returns to flying, they find a place to land. Ilum, covered in snow at the surface, gives way to massive cave like structures from the missing mined sections of the planet. Weather would find its way within the core, cooling it past the norm. The devastation of Ilum is infuriating. There’s no better word for it. The very fact that the First Order has taken up the rights to the Imperial dominance of the past builds a new fire within Rey’s soul.

“That’s all that’s left?”

“Uughghhhgh huurh huuguughghg” Rey looks up at Chewie, her brow furrowing, with another question.

“How did it not collapse? How is there still a planet here? How...”

“Could someone do this?” continues Poe, “Fear. Greed. Power...the list goes on.”

A sigh passes through her lips as she makes her final approach, landing on a large stretch of land covered in snow. The ship thankfully, blends in with the land. “Wait here, I’ll signal you when I need you.” Rey stands abruptly, moving through the Falcon on what she’s sure to be her last mission, for the sake of all beings.

Chewie yips once or twice, but to no avail. Rey isn’t one for saying goodbye anyway, even if it may be her end. Pulling on her gear piece by piece, she’s finally ready to open the ramp, and see herself out. It will be a walk, she knows this, but for now she has the force, which will make for an easier trip alone.

Rey begins with careful steps within the hollowed-out shell of a planet, watching as the clouds grey and swirl dropping large, fluffy snowflakes over the surface. Pulling the crystal halves from her pocket, she watches them glimmer within the light of the peaking sun. They guide her deep within Ilum’s crust, down within the structured mining corridors, deep into the darkness of what was once lit by the magic of this place. The darkness is overwhelming; with no light left to possess, she presses on, holding on to a thought, a wish. Maybe a prayer. Hoping to change the fate of these destinies, of individuals that couldn’t possibly know the dangers they’re truly in.

A sigh she didn’t breathe startles her, still hiding in the darkness of this dying world. “Are you there, Ben?” she tries. Silence stretches between them, his sneer growing, hating that name—even from her lips, hidden from her view. “Or am I chasing the shadows of a boy who could be loved, in a role he doesn’t belong to?”

With that, the ignition of his blade presses forth in a crackling warning. Its red glow paints the face of a torn man. His body shows the sting of her words, recoiling as if he’s been burned, “What do you know about love?”

Silence falls again.

“You left me to die, Rey.” He lifts his blade, “Love?” He points it at her. “You haven’t a clue what love is.”

“And neither do you,” she spits, reaching for her staff. A smirk plays once again on Kylo’s lips, noticing a toy of a weapon in her hands. Rey backs up through the darkness, she entered following the call.

She needs Ben, but he’s morphing into the creature he called Kylo Ren. Readying her stance and pocketing the crystals, she taunts Kylo with his given name. Rey would never be one to back down from a fight. She was a survivor. No man-child was going to force her into submission. Ever.

Pursing his lips for control, the rage wells up inside, pulling at his very core. Hell-bent on striking her down, he raises to an even point warning her of his intent. Her only move was to keep him at bay as she backpedals into the better lit caverns. “Why did you really call me here, Rey?” His voice is strained with every syllable.

“The force needs our help.” Her feet shuffle backwards over the stony cave floor.

“Not you?” He lunges quickly at the sound of his own desperation in an effort to try to hide it.

Rey grunts, pulling her staff in, just out of reach of his attack, following his back swing with her own forceful blow to the chest. Her staff, while not lethal, knocks the wind out of Kylo; his anger returns, shaking the walls around them. “Me?” Rey asks, “I called for you. Of course, me. Why isn’t that obvious to you?”

He force throws her backwards with the flick of his wrist to create space between them. Her body slapping into the ground, forcing the air from her lungs, makes him cringe. Even in his fury, he did not mean to hurt her in such a way. His mind flies back to the forest on Starkiller Base, before he truly knew her. How little it affected him. This though, was a spike to his mind. Standing again, she ignores his authoritative demeanor as he stalks through the space to get to her while his blade is still lit. 

[](https://ibb.co/cDe9dV)

Kylo has been taken back by how much Rey reminds him of a predator, staying low, ready, watching his every move. He should have seen this in her memories. Rather than seeing the sorrowful ones—memories of survival—he’d focused only on the pain she’d experienced. Just as he was focused on her path then, he is now, giving her the opportunity to strike. Rey strikes swiftly with her staff, causing Kylo’s knees to buckle, throwing him down once more.

Rey, still in ready position, finds herself flipped and pinned forcefully on the cold, hard floor underneath Kylo’s asserting frame. His free hand holds hers in place. His blade cuts into her staff. The familiar smell of burning hair stings her nostrils as he leans the cross blade into it. Ignoring her statement, Kylo returns “But you left!” Rey has to dig deep through her rage, to remember this was someone she actually cared for. Ben is trapped in this monster. He needs closure. She has to give him something... anything. A knee to the groin would do it, she thinks, but he counters, moving far enough away, “I can hear you, ugnf.” She still manages to clip him in the side.

“You can hear impending attack but nothing else, can you?” she spits in his face, hoping for him to relent. In the time it took to wipe it clean, she throws this hulking man from her. Had she known she possessed this ability, her life on Jakku could have been that much easier, she thinks, taking Kylo off his game. He seems to pause, dwelling on moments of the past. Rey lets the pain of being left on Jakku out in a flurry of memories as she waved her staff at him, allowing the force to lift stones around them, giving her a better angle from which to attack. “They may have left me, but I didn’t leave you!” she screams at him, slapping her staff into his side in retaliation.

Kylo’s brow furrows once more, trying to process the past and present. “You did!” Grabbing her staff to pull her in, he adds through clenched teeth, “I woke to General Hux standing over me,” holding back the unspoken vulnerability of that moment. Had he not awoken in time, he’d have been dead at the hands of that man’s blaster.

“Have you any idea how heavy you are?” She kicks out of his hold, releasing her staff to him, and calling his lightsaber with ease from his hand. “I went for help.”

“Who was going to help you?! You were on our ship—“

“Oh! Don’t be stupid! One of your blind sheep came back with me.” She swirls the hilt around, getting used to the weight of it in her hand. “You were gone when we returned. What was I supposed to do? Hunt you down in a burning ship?”

Kylo’s mouth opens and closes again, wanting to hold on to anything negative to control his fury. To control what is left of him, anything. “You could have told me... instead of running.”

“Oh yes! That makes a ton of sense. Just walk right up to the war machines you had lined on Crait and what? Say I’m sorry you’re completely mad? Trying to kill a handful of people that actually still gave a damn about you... even with the horrid things you’ve done?” She retracts the blade on his lightsaber, “You were trying to kill us, Ben! Do you not understand the weight of your actions? Why doesn’t this make any sense to you?!”

Ben, still holding her staff, pulls at his weapon, calling it back to him, and she lets it, learning from the pain she caused the one in her pocket. It is time to make a change. The ripple of a thought passes through him as she pushes on down into the darkness of the planet, shoving him from her path and pulling at her staff with the force. As she seems to disappear, she drops the floating stones behind her. One loud crash after the next startles Ben from his thoughts, now able to hear, “Are you going to help me or not?” her voice is strained. He says nothing, “Leave, if you’d rather not,” she says finally pressing on and down into the core.

Her words burn him, soldering him in place. His frame bows only slightly, battling with his moral values, Snoke’s presence wavering but steadily reminding him of who he was while he served that hellish beast. His reflections had run him through his childhood, how much pain he suffered accepting he was not important. Accepting that he was not worthy of love, how he felt his parents pushing him away in every aspect of his life, how awful it felt to be wrong about their evils while killing his father. How he realized Snoke’s influence then and how he, wished the instant it was done, that he could take it all back. How he wished to reconcile his past. His eyes wandered over the path she blindly took into the darkness, unscathed by fear. Ben wonders what it was like not to be afraid, finding himself opening up to this option. Feeling his way through the darkness, he finds her deep within Ilum’s cold core, in the place to which the crystal drew her for its healing.

Rounding a wall carved out by miners, Ben finds a huge cavern, lit by a faint golden haze, the ice flickering like stars at the addition of Rey’s efforts to heal the halves. She sitting cross legged on a stone covered in snow, holding her right hand up to guide it back together, hoping that she can be enough to right their wrong. Ben watches as the crystals lift and align before she tries to meld them together.

Rey’s efforts, however, are not enough. It took two to destroy it in the first place. The crystal calls to him. Crying, as it did with both Ahsoka and Rey.

With little sympathy, he continues watching as her efforts begin to shake the cavern. Loose pieces of debris break from the ceiling, falling entirely too close to her for his liking. Brushing each piece away with little use of the force, he watches on as she deepened her focus on the reconnection. Her hair began to lighten from the chestnut brown it had been, shade by shade. He is convinced she was giving years of her life to heal the living crystal. It‘s enough. He opposes having her kill herself to fix this. Throwing out his hand to aid her in the process, he focuses only on sealing the break to restore the stone.

As they finalize the connection, the crystal glowed brightly, accepting a yellow hue instead of the blue that called Anakin to years ago. It floats peacefully between them as Rey’s consciousness slips away from over-exerting herself. Knowing he’s been at fault for this, Ben rushes to her side, lifting her carefully, pocketing the now whole crystal, afraid she will wake if he placed it on her in some way. ‘Afraid,’ he rolls his eyes at thinking this way. Looking her over, he sees the wear from what she gave of herself to this magical item. She must have given years of her life. For a moment, he wonders if that meant she will be more compatible with him. Thinking about it makes him snort, ‘What kind of ridiculous...’ she starts to stir, opening her eyes to refocus on her whereabouts. Stilling completely, his eyes go wide and he attempted to put her down when she touched his chest, looking as if he could honestly assess it as ‘innocently’ up at him as if she was in awe that chose to do the right thing.

“You came back?” she asks softly, not needing an answer. He pulls the crystal out of his pocket, handing it to her, purposely touching her palm briefly, not sure of what it was he‘s actually after. Maybe a connection, beyond the one they have? Maybe now, they have a chance? Maybe now she’d want a chance to fix the galaxy with him?

“We? We did it?”

Ben smiles at this. “We did.”

Returning to the surface to get out of the fragile caverns offers time to be on neutral ground, experiencing each other with curiosity. Learning from the accusatory style they had always leaned in on in terms of communication, Rey opts for a new tactic; this time, starting with words she‘s sure he hasn’t heard in years. “Thank you, Ben.” She studies the stone’s perfection again. “This ensures so many lives...” Reaching up to cup his cheek she moves to offer a small peck on the other, broken by the sound of cannon fire.

The Millennium Falcon flies overhead, with a TIE-fighter in hot pursuit, shooting wildly. “Couldn’t come alone?”

To this Ben shrugs, still floating within a dreamland of a spell she placed just moments before. “You didn’t,” he responds moments later.

“Have you flown that?” She waves her hand over the ship. “It’s a two-person job.”

“And the cannon?” he presses with a smirk, walking out further from her over the remaining ice shelf.

“Okay, three,” she concedes, not wanting to let on that Poe wasn’t actually supposed to come, “but that’s besides the point.”

“Is it?” he asks calmly, “or did you come to use me and then try to knock me off?” He’s morphing back into the destroyed man, Kylo Ren.

“Are you serious right now?” she grumbles a shout. “You need to get yourself in line, Ben.”

He chuckles forlornly, under his breath, “I’m pretty together,” he lies.

“No one believes that,” she scoffs.

Engines cut dutifully through the air above them, firing blaster rounds in nearly every direction.

The whistling wind alerts them of how quickly the pilots are zipping through the atmosphere. Both of their gazes lift upwards as the TIE fighter blows up overhead, the explosion spewing debris.

“What is it going to take to get you to trust m—“ Rey reaches to call his lightsaber to her. Surprised, Ben’s jaw drops slightly as it did in the throne room. A flashback floats through his memory, only to blink back to the present. He’s missed Rey rushing at him and the air fight being brought to them. He’s back just in time to watch Rey’s force jump pushing her high enough to land with a foot upon his shoulder, leaping off him to swing cleanly at a stray missile soaring toward them both. The force of the blast throws her too far from him to make out his relief. His height looming in the distance shrugs somewhat from side to side, reaching once for his blade she refuses to turn off as a warning. As he pulls it from her, she pushes it through the force back to him so hard it has to be dodged instead of caught. The action presses him to wonder if she will return. His body quivers in the anticipation of what would be next...not expecting a disgusted shrug back to what they once were after his pursuit of her on Crait.

[](https://ibb.co/9ZjfrVL)

Weight from the memory of pushing her away yet again has his face falling.

No. No, no, no.

He calls out to her through their bond, with nothing to give but a plea for her to wait.

To his disbelief, she stops.

Angling only her chin to her shoulder, her eyes still low, she whispers “Let the past die...it’ll kill you if you’re not careful,” then continues towards the Falcon, seeking warmth and shelter, leaving him once again to review his actions.

——-

Poe, sitting still at the cannon, sees her revised state as she approaches the ship, and leaps to his feet, running towards the ramp. His arms outstretched but not touching crowds her space looking for any other physical damage other than the change in her hair color. His body jerks around her as evidence of his worry. “What happened out there? Are you ok? Did he hurt you?” he babbles in one breath.

Her silence is telling. More happened than she‘s ready to disclose. Pulling the crystal from her bag, she says, “The force is once again at peace, for now.”

Chewie welcomes her in, picking at her hair, examining the color, matching it to his own. It makes him smile, and he asks her to rejoin the others. A few yips in reference to Ben has her pause. “I’m not sure he’s ready, but I’ll ask.”

Reaching out through their bond, she pulls at his consciousness, asking simply if he’s ready to come home. There’s no answer, only an open connection into a darkness she’s never feared. “When you are, I’ll find you,” she promises.

Returning to Raada, Poe, Chewie and Rey notice the changes in the surrounding area. It’s a raw attempt at building structures within a vine masked landscape, which now hordes supplies they removed before Rey’s departure. Flying carefully through so as not to disturb those working below them, Rey pulls the Falcon in tightly, soaring just high enough to still rustle the foliage below. Pulling the ship around in its final decent, Chewie aids Rey in setting it down.

Slowly gathering around them are the crew members, including Snap, who crosses his arms over his chest tightly, still wary of Rey, and her friends, Finn and Rose, who are followed closely by Leia. Ahsoka stays back far enough to be seen in the outskirts of the semicircle. There was no reason to crowd the girl, that is, until she steps down the ramp.

Each step she takes forward reveals her changed physical being and the men behind her. Rey’s eyes scan the crowd, holding out her hand as an offering, letting the glowing yellow kyber crystal hover over it with the use of the force. Just below her hand is Ben’s, ungloved and neutral, similarly cupped. As they move far enough down the ramp for all to see, Rey watches the members mutter their concerns and Leia faints at the sight of her son’s return. With no sudden movements they both still the crowd before them, catching Leia comfortably, and silencing their unease.

Ahsoka proudly makes her way through every frozen person, congratulating them on their completion of this test. Her eyes roams over the pair, reaching out to touch Rey’s changed features. “Fascinating,” she breathes. “The stars have it right, you are a true Jedi, Rey.” Examining Ben at a glance, she adds, “true Jedi, indeed.” Both release the group before them after Ahsoka’s word, followed by Leia, whom they carefully lower into Chewie’s arms. Ben follows the sights of his mother, leaving the crystal to hover in Rey’s hand. “I take it, it was quite the experience...”

Rey lifts her eyes from Ben to Ahsoka’s gaze. A small smile plays on her lips, as if to say, ‘you could say that,’ but instead, she asks, “What now?”


End file.
